Married to a Creative: A Candid Look Behind RefreshRestyle.com with Barry
Today, we pull back the curtain and get a truly unique perspective! Barry, the dedicated and often bewildered man behind the scenes at RefreshRestyle.com, is here to tell all. Prepare for an honest, often humorous, and always loving look into what it’s truly like to share life with a vibrant, project-driven creative force like Debbie. This isn’t just about home decor; it’s about the beautiful, messy, and endlessly inspiring journey of a couple building a life, one DIY project at a time.
Back in the 80s, when life might have seemed a bit simpler and “DIY blogger” wasn’t even a concept, Barry likely had no idea the colorful, creative, and utterly captivating journey he was embarking on. Fast forward to today, and he’s navigating a world of paint swatches, power tools, and endless home transformations.
The “Men Tell All” Series: A Deep Dive into Creative Marriages
Today marks a special event across the blogging community! We’re joining a fascinating series where the men behind some of our favorite creative women step into the spotlight to share their unique perspectives. It’s an insightful, often comical, look into the realities of living with a DIY enthusiast, a decorator, and a blogger. The masterminds behind this candid concept, Bliss Ranch and Primitive and Proper, wanted the world to know the real scoop, beyond the perfectly styled photos and finished project reveals. Now, it’s our turn to hear from Mr. Refresh himself, Barry, as he fields a series of revealing questions.
An Interview with Mr. Refresh: Barry’s Perspective
1. What is your favorite project that Debbie has done, and why?
Barry’s top pick is unequivocally the chocolate and mint dresser makeover. He adores the sophisticated and refreshing color combination, noting how it transformed an ordinary piece into something truly special. This project stands out for him, not just for its aesthetic appeal, but perhaps for the pleasant surprise of a color scheme that perfectly blended creativity with elegance in their home decor.
2. What is your least favorite, and why?
With a knowing chuckle, Barry admits his least favorite projects are “most of the ones she requests.” He lightens this by humorously correcting himself from “demands” to “requests.” His primary challenge lies in Debbie’s tendency to make his part sound deceptively simple. “Oh, it will be easy, we can do this!” is a phrase he’s learned to interpret as an immediate red flag. He often has to put his problem-solving skills to the test to figure out the execution, but he readily admits that once he gets started and completes his contribution, he actually finds enjoyment and satisfaction in seeing the project come to life.
3. What is the one creative item or tool that Debbie cannot live without?
This was a tough call for Barry, given the array of tools Debbie employs in her creative endeavors. Ultimately, he chose the orbital sander, highlighting its frequent use and indispensable role in preparing surfaces for countless makeovers. However, he quickly added that the nail gun also deserves an honorable mention. Beyond its practical function, he observes that the nail gun gives Debbie a palpable sense of empowerment, making her feel like a “powerhouse” as she confidently tackles new DIY challenges around their home.
4. What is your biggest pet peeve about Debbie in the real world or the project and decorating realm?
Barry’s biggest pet peeve circles back to the recurring theme: Debbie’s projects always sound easier than they turn out to be. His own perfectionist tendencies exacerbate this, as he strives for flawless execution in every task. Beyond the project complexities, he points out her habit of not tidying up after herself. He describes their garage and basement as overflowing with what he jokingly refers to as “junk projects” – a collection of items waiting for their creative transformation, often creating a charmingly chaotic environment. “Do I need to say any more?” he quips, painting a vivid picture of a creative’s workspace.
5. If you could take Debbie on a vacation anywhere, where would she want to go?
When dreaming of the perfect getaway for Debbie, Barry’s thoughts immediately drift to a warm, sun-drenched beach. His ideal destination for her would be somewhere exotic like Hawaii, where she could fully relax and escape the constant pull of projects and power tools. He envisions her unwinding by the ocean, far from the demands of sanding, painting, or planning the next home decor masterpiece, allowing her to simply soak in the tranquility.
6. Debbie finds $100. What does she do with it?
Barry is quite certain about this one. Debbie’s first instinct would be to diligently try to find the rightful owner of the $100. It’s a testament to her honest nature. But, he says with a smile, if no one claims it, there’s only one logical outcome: the money would undoubtedly be allocated to yet another exciting project. Whether it’s for supplies, a new tool, or a unique find for a makeover, that $100 would fuel her creative fire, transforming into something beautiful for their home or blog.
7. What is YOUR favorite room in your house and why?
Barry’s personal sanctuary within their home is the “keeping room.” He loves its central location, providing easy access to the kitchen, restroom, and, crucially, the fireplace and TV. It’s the natural gathering spot for them daily, a comfortable hub where they can relax and connect. He especially appreciates that Debbie has finally declared it “finished,” or at least “as finished as anything she ever is,” acknowledging the perpetual evolution of a creative’s living space. It’s a rare moment of decorative stability he cherishes.
8. Creativity is messy, but for the most part, blogs show the pretty picture. Can you tell us how Debbie is a secret slob?
Barry offers a glimpse into the unfiltered reality of living with a creative. While Debbie’s blog showcases impeccable, styled spaces, behind the scenes, a different scene unfolds. He reveals that shoes tend to multiply and appear in various spots throughout the house, often accompanied by stray coffee cups and empty Coke Zero cans. This is just the tip of the iceberg; paint brushes, various tools, and project components also have a habit of being “strategically placed” in unexpected locations. It’s the charming chaos that often accompanies a vibrant, active creative mind.
9. Name a project or decorating adventure that you thought would be a flop but was fabulous?
One particular project springs to Barry’s mind: the Orange Crush Desk makeover. He candidly admits he was initially skeptical, finding the vibrant orange color choice quite jarring and not to his personal taste. He had reservations about its appeal and whether it would find a new home. However, to his surprise and delight, the desk sold incredibly fast. This experience taught him a valuable lesson about Debbie’s unique design eye and her ability to create pieces that resonate with others, even when they challenge his own aesthetic sensibilities.
10. Blogging takes a lot of time. Do you ever pass by Debbie while she is on the computer and secretly feel neglected?
Barry emphatically states, “Not just secretly!” He openly admits that the sheer volume of time Debbie dedicates to her blog can sometimes lead to feelings of neglect. It’s a common scenario where they are in the same room, both on their respective laptops, and he finds himself routinely asking her what she’s engrossed in. This isn’t out of suspicion, but rather a playful attempt to reconnect and acknowledge the constant pull of the blogging world on her attention, a dynamic many spouses of busy creatives can undoubtedly relate to.
11. Before, during, and after photos are an important part of blogging, do you remember to do that while working on projects for Debbie?
Barry is quick to clarify his role: “I don’t do photography; I leave that up to Debbie.” He knows his place in the creative partnership! However, he is intimately familiar with the demands of blog photography. He recounts the constant reminders: “She never lets us forget!!!” He has learned the routine of holding still, not touching things, and asking “Can I eat this, move this, sit in this…?” before making any move around a staged project. It’s a humorous testament to the meticulous process of capturing those perfect “before, during, and after” shots for the blog.
12. How often do you read Debbie’s blog and do you have a favorite post?
Barry maintains a weekly check-in with Debbie’s blog, humorously stating, “I have to make sure she’s really writing a blog, with all the time I see her on the computer!” It’s his way of staying connected to her online world. As for a favorite post, he doesn’t hesitate. He declares, “This will probably be my favorite, after all, you get to hear my side!” This response perfectly encapsulates the spirit of this “men tell all” series, giving a voice to the often-unseen partners of the blogging community.
13. Before changing a piece of furniture, hanging new curtains, or planning a whole room redo, does Debbie consult you or do you come home and it’s done?
Barry explains that Debbie’s consultation habits depend entirely on the scope and complexity of the project. He notes that she is acutely aware of her limitations and intelligently involves him in many of the larger, more labor-intensive transformations. However, he also playfully admits, “I’m not sure any of our rooms are ever really complete!” This speaks to the constant evolution and creative energy that defines their home, where “finished” is often a temporary state for a DIY enthusiast like Debbie.
14. Does Debbie discuss her blog with you, stories from other blogs, or friendships with other bloggers?
While not a daily occurrence, Barry confirms that Debbie occasionally shares insights from her blogging world. He mentions her recounting experiences like meeting fellow bloggers at conferences, observing that “She feels like she really knows them, just from reading their blogs, I guess.” What often strikes him as particularly unique is the depth of these online connections, to the point where she’ll “room with strangers” or go “thrifting with people she’s never met” through the blogging network. He admits to sometimes just shaking his head, concluding, “I guess you have to be a blogger to understand that connection.”
15. Where do you think Debbie gets most of her creative inspiration; TV, magazines, online, you, or was she just born that way?
Barry firmly believes that Debbie was “born with it” – an innate creative spark that fuels her endless ideas. He often marvels at her ability to conjure up “all the crazy stuff she does,” wondering how someone can consistently generate such innovative and often unexpected projects. While acknowledging her natural talent, he also notes that she is an avid reader of magazines and a frequent visitor to other blogs, continuously soaking up inspiration and fresh perspectives from various creative sources to inform her own distinct style.
16. Do you know what Pantone’s color of the year is and how do you feel about so-called “girly” colors for your walls?
Barry’s response to the Pantone question is a straightforward, good-natured, “I don’t have a clue?” This highlights a common difference between creatives deeply immersed in design trends and their partners who often maintain a more practical, less trend-focused view of home aesthetics. As for “girly” colors on the walls, while he doesn’t explicitly state his feelings, his prior comments about certain projects suggest he might prefer a more neutral or classic palette, letting Debbie’s bold choices be the exceptions rather than the rule.
17. If you could change one room or area of your home with no decorating advice from Debbie, what area would you choose and why?
Without hesitation, Barry names the garage as the sole area he would “dare to tackle without Debbie’s decorating advice.” His choice speaks volumes about his understanding of their creative dynamic and his wife’s pervasive influence on their home’s aesthetic. The garage, a space often associated with utility and practicality rather than curated design, represents a safe haven where he could implement his own vision, free from the joyful but relentless pursuit of the perfect “refresh” or “restyle.” He knows his limits, and that limit is beyond the garage door.
18. Are you ever worried Debbie will share too much personal information or that blogging might invade your private life?
Barry is quite open about his concerns regarding privacy. He consistently reminds Debbie not to include him in photos for the blog, emphatically stating, “I don’t want any celebrity status.” He’s content with his current life and his “full-time job,” preferring to remain in the background rather than becoming a public figure through her blogging endeavors. This highlights a common tension point for individuals whose partners share their lives online, balancing creative expression with personal boundaries.
19. Have you ever helped Debbie style photos for her blog or offer input on how you think a vignette should look?
Barry’s response here is concise and clear: “I leave that up to her.” This demonstrates a strong sense of trust in Debbie’s aesthetic judgment and her expertise in visual presentation for the blog. He understands that styling a vignette for photography requires a specific eye and skill set, which he confidently delegates to his creative wife, allowing her full artistic freedom in that realm.
20. There is a saying “If walls could talk…”, what would yours say about the decorating in your bedroom?
With a knowing smirk, Barry simply states, “Some things are better left unsaid?” This humorous and somewhat enigmatic reply leaves much to the imagination. It hints at the possibility of unique, perhaps even quirky, decorating choices within their private sanctuary, undoubtedly influenced by Debbie’s creative spirit. It’s a playful nod to the idea that even the most personal spaces in a creative’s home might hold stories and styles that are best appreciated without too much public commentary.
As Barry so wisely concludes, it’s truly a mantra to live by: HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE! His candid, humorous, and deeply affectionate answers paint a beautiful picture of a marriage filled with creativity, compromise, and a whole lot of love.
For a comprehensive look at Debbie’s incredible talent, you can explore all her inspiring DIY projects here, including some where Barry undoubtedly lent his “easy” expertise!
Join the “Men Tell All” Journey: Discover More Creative Spouses
This special series invites you to delve deeper into the lives of other creative bloggers and hear from their amazing partners. Don’t miss out on more hilarious, heartfelt, and honest insights from the men who live with their very own DIY Divas. I’m already headed over to see what the others have to say about their wonderfully creative spouses!
Bliss Ranch
Primitive & Proper
It All Started With Paint
Cuckoo4Design
Design Post Interiors
Bliss at Home
View Along the Way
SG Style
Sarah M. Dorsey Designs
Kirb Appeal
The Gathered Home
Refresh Restyle
Debbie Doos
Top This Top That
Fox Hollow Cottage
The Space Between
For My Love of
The Chronicles of Home